![]() John Gottman indicates that 4 decades of research shows that in healthy relationships, people make time to be curious and get to know one another. In his book “ Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,” Dr. It works for people in existing relationships, too. He was able to measure how intimacy forms between two strangers in just 45 minutes with a series of deeper and deeper questions. The original research behind this comes from a series of experiments by psychologist Arthur Aron in the 1990s. You may have seen the viral “ 36 questions to fall in love” experiment on YouTube. ![]() ![]() “Some research shows that when we feel completely safe with someone, our nervous system relaxes in a way that invites healing and growth.” What types of questions are best to get to know someone deeply? “The safety of deep relationships is the foundation for so many healing benefits,” she adds. We’re providing the care and energy that goes into growth.” “Through intentional conversation starters, we’re metaphorically watering the plant of our relationship. “Relationships need nurturance they’re not static,” she says. ![]() How asking the right questions can deepen your relationshipsĭeep connections are based on curiosity and vulnerability, and an imperfect, real exploration, says Jackie Tassiello, a therapist in the greater New York City area.
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